Worship Journal

Worship Journal

There was a sound released during our most recent worship service. From where I was seated, it seemed like a wave sweeping over me, billowing, and building to a crescendo as a flood of sorrow turned to shouts of joy. 2 women near me held hands and were as free as little girls, oblivious to onlookers. I was drawn to join them and quietly hugged them. I was encircled in loving hugs and then laughter! It flowed freely, like waterfalls, following the path of least resistance. Sweet surrender! Oh sure, we all have our problems, but in that incredible exchange, wordlessly we knew we had received enough joy for the journey.

There is a sound released through broken people that is unrehearsed, unpolished, and simply the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. It spoke to my heart, and reminded me of an old Hymn, “It is Well”. Some of the lyrics say:

“…When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say it is well it is well with my soul”

I am fascinated with stories behind great hymns.” It Is Well”, was written after the writer learned of his family’s tragedy at sea…he was coming across on a different vessel.

Can you imagine his grief looking into the dark salty ocean filled with his own tears, wondering if perhaps even then he might be hovering over the body of one of his own?

Yet, out of his brokenness comes a sound that has brought comfort and hope to thousands upon thousands of fellow sojourners. Sooner or later, we are all in the same boat! We can hear God through the voice of the weak worshipper.

Brokenness, humility, and frailty are traits found in authenticity. It is the magnetism of the soul that has no confidence, apart from Him.

God is drawn to weakness. So am I.

On and on, He is endlessly manifesting in the void that makes room for him as we empty ourselves of ourselves.

 As a Worship leader, newly divorced and coming to terms with being a victim of abuse; I took solace in the words in Jeremiah 29: 11. However; I could not stop reading there! The prophet Jeremiah went further to underscore…You will find me if you seek me with all your heart!

That brought me to my knees! With ALL my heart? My heart?

There was so much in my heart- much that had never even been explored. The embarrassment of having been battered by my husband (the Pastor), the shame, insecurities, perfectionisms from never having being quite good enough, the well….mess; I gave it all to him half expecting him to give it back!

I have emptied my heart like one who cleans out an attic! I get worn out and have to rest a while and go at it again! It takes effort. I have needed some help with the heavy stuff. But it is wonderful when He comes in to the emptied void with his own cleaning crew! He is quite an interior decorator! It is worth every skeleton pulled out of the closet, every tear and every effort, just to have Him present!

He is drawn to weakness. He resists the proud. The Pharisee’s who sang to impress audiences with loud shallow voices, were abhorrent to Jesus.

But- oh the sound of the broken, the sound of weakness, and the sound of the cry for help is so attractive to me. I feel safe to throw my head back and join in the unforced rhythms of his amazing grace, how sweet the sound!

This weak worshipper meets in my weakness with others. We unite and delight in knowing;

JESUS LOVES ME, THIS I KNOW, FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO

LITTLE ONES TO HIM BELONG. THEY ARE WEAK, BUT HE IS STRONG